Couple counseling

Paul Velen MFT have been helping people for over 40 years as a teacher, hospital discharge planner, case manager, Orange County Employee, teacher, group facilitator, individual, marriage and couples counselor. Paul has helped couples and single men and women resolve their conflicts within themselves and in the context of their relationships.

Despite having the potential to bring much joy and fulfillment to our lives, relationships in couples of any kind can sometimes be difficult and challenging. Our different experiences, perceptions and values all have the potential to bring us into conflict with those closest to us and sometimes, even in cases where there is a willingness to resolve our issues, it becomes impossible to communicate effectively. With so much typically being invested in these relationships, however, finding a way to stop them from being eroded is essential.

What causes relationship problems in couples?

Couples counseling of a young couple

The complexity of human beings and of life in general sadly means that there are numerous factors that can cause relationships to become difficult or break down entirely. Sometimes major life events such as bereavement, illness or job loss, and even what should be joyful events such as starting a family can put undue pressure on couples, family members and friends. What seems like an abuse of trust, such as in infidelity, or mentally or physically abusive behavior. Feeling responsible for a partner’s anxiety, addictions, financial problems and sexual difficulties can be the cause of internal disturbance.

Why is it so important to deal with relationship issues?

Aside from the facts that we might have invested many years in a relationship and that there could be severe implications on innocent parties such as children if it were to break down, one of the most important reasons for dealing with relationship issues is that often there are underlying problems which, if left unresolved, have the potential to destroy other relationships in the future. Often the ways in which relationship issues manifest themselves are merely symptoms of a much deeper problem, which needs to be identified before it can be treated. Most importantly, as with any disturbance, relational stress is highly related to physical illness.

How are relationship issues treated?

Paul Velen, MS, LMFT’s couples counseling is effective in creating positive change that provides space for relationships to grow in mutually satisfying directions. Depending upon the circumstances, individual, or couples (conjoint) sessions may be most appropriate, but whichever is the case, treatment is carried out in a confidential, sensitive and non-judgmental atmosphere which allows patients to deal as openly and honestly as possible with their issues. Using EMDR makes it possible to create change without having to disclose historical details that are too personal. Paul will work with all concerned to identify goals, problems and elicit resolutions that leave individuals feeling comfortable in their own skins. His approach is collaborative.